PETA is stalking George Clooney! Other than that, how did George Clooney’s sweat-soaked gym towel got into PETA’s hands? This was confirmed by PETA when the animal rights crusaders wrote human rights crusader George Clooney asking his permission for the use of his salty secretions as an ingredient of the Clooney-flavored tofu? Lest George Clooney thinks they have turned loonies, PETA assured the Oscar-winning actor that there is a technology that can take perspiration and convert it into CloFu or what you call Clooney-flavored tofu.

PETA said George Clooney’s fans would swoon at the idea of eating the George Clooney tofu. The technology is actually similar to the artificial chicken flavor used in instant gravy, said a researcher. However, tofu would be more difficult to swallow. George Clooney however said he is offended by PETA’s suggestion. The group is however determined and has even prepared serving suggestions for the CloFu saying a cheese-scented one can be used as pizza or lasagna topping. PETA’s intentions are noble anyway since they believe CloFu will not only help people become healthier but more environment and animal-friendly.